What now.

This all started because of multiple reasons. One, I had a shit up bringing. I was hurt, broken down, and left with basically zero identity and terrible self esteem. Two, I trusted you to take care of me and you took advantage of me and our situation. You took something away from me when you knew I was an easy target. You knew I wouldn’t be able to fight back because I had been through it before! All those times we talked about how upset you were that I had gone through so much pain. My pain used to be your pain and now you used that same thing against me. You hurt me so bad. But yet, here I am. Waiting for you to arrive every Friday. Yesterday. Oh I do not understand yesterday. You took me out for breakfast and treated me to my favourite store, you sing and dance with me and just make everything feel okay again. But then today. Today we woke up back to how we usually co-exist. Back to awkward eye contact , no physical contact and having little to any conversation. You are leaving tomorrow morning again until Friday and this is how we say goodbye. Why are we still doing this when this is how we are “trying” to make it work. Is this making it work?! Cause it sure doesn’t seem like it. What are we to do now. Continue onward without looking back living this empty and dark reality or have a good hard conversation. And who is going to take that step. I look at you every week trying to get my mouth to ask you if you want to talk and so far I have been unable to. I am still choosing to love you each day. But who’s going to take that step.