drowning

I sit here and look around at all the things I once loved and lots still do. I hear her telling me about her day in one ear while trying to keep my eyes on the other one so she doesn’t feel left out or unheard while I glance into the kitchen to see you scarfing down the food I just worked 2 hours to make , eating like you hadn’t eatin in days . I try to look at you with love and understanding but you just look right through me. Like you don’t feel my pain you don’t care to see my pain. You see me as someone that will never leave you. Someone that’s not strong enough to really stand up for herself and make a change. I asked if we could go visit somewhere because I haven’t asked you for that in a while thought maybe you’d consider it but no. You just throw on that sarcastic frustrated look and give me one glance and I know my answer. Why would you even ask that. You know I don’t want to go. How dare I ask anything of you. I’m so bloody sick and tired. The thoughts are getting darker and heavier and I am too tired to try and claw my way out again. I’m just so damn tired.
Why can’t you bloody see me. what did I do to you.

sincerely , nobody