Why?

You know everyone in their life at some point goes through it.

They go through times where they feel the lowest. Like they are standing still and everything’s still moving around them but no one notices your frozen. It’s the worst feeling. Feeling like your completely alone and there’s no one that could even begin to understand. Like you have done and tried everything in your power to keep your self afloat but finally your sinking.

How do you get up?

How do you continue?

Do you put your mask on and pretend everything’s okay? Do you cry in your bedroom so no ones knows or hears you? then wake up and smile all day even though you are dying inside because it’s only you and you don’t wanna bother your friends or parents because they are busy enough?

What do you do? How do you get out of that! How could you show them how you feel when you don’t even understand it yourself. How do you fully give yourself to someone when they don’t REALLY know you ? How can you blindly believe that someone truly loves you for you when they can’t see you cause you shut everyone out that might be able to see your pain. And there’s know way you can let them all the way in, incase they leave you and take your heart with.

I’m tired of it. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of people telling me how happy and bubbly I am when really, I hurt. So bad.

Sometimes the most painful thing can be the best learning experience. Learn. Focus on how to forgive that incident that happened so long ago, forgive that person that hurt you so bad you don’t even recognize your self anymore. Forgive it all. The first day you say it, it won’t work. Every time throughout the day catch yourself thinking about these things, go back and forgive it. Again.

In a couple days you’ll start to believe that you could actually be forgiving that person or thing that happened. You’ll start to feel better every time. Soon it won’t be a job to remind yourself to do, it’ll be natural. And in a couple months you’ll have forgotten about whatever happened. And you’ll be able to look back and see all the things you won’t do again and all the things you’ve learnt.

Be confident in yourself and trust in the lord. Because when no one else has your back, He does. Always and forever.

Remember. Gods got it. Always.